Let the reader beware: this is not a cure for temptation. We know that temptation will never disappear in our lifetime and is instrumental for our salvation. The Bible’s words will guide us on this matter and on all matters.

“Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials [also translated “temptations”], for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” — James 1:2-3

This is also not your ordinary “5 Easy Steps to Doing XYZ.” More appropriate, it is “5 Difficult Steps to Avoid Doing XYZ.” Difficult but Doable. The Good News: our struggles make us into saints.

This will be, for many, a remedy for the plague of habitual sin. And my assumption is that you’ve been looking for this cure for quite a while now with no success. I can tell you that after many trials, temptations, and much struggle, I believe that I have found the methodology to defeat it. Permanently.

To start, let’s define habitual sin. We know that a sin is anything that we do which goes against the will of God. It becomes habitual when we partake of it on a regular basis, and in many cases it is (or feels) outside of our control. Nonetheless, we should do all in our power to defeat it, because it deprives us of True and abundant Life.

The sins I speak of can be overdrinking, gluttony, masturbation, pornography, sloth, etc. The most difficult of which and the ones most struggled with in our modern society are those pertaining to lust.

Step 1: Be Honest with Yourself.

This is the fundamental step. You can’t go on if you don’t address the following. Ask yourself:

–          Do you admit you have a problem?

–          Are you trying your best to defeat the sin you struggle with?

–          Do you actually want to overcome this sin?

Take some time to think about these three questions. Even if you say yes to all of these, you may not realize that a no is nestled somewhere in between. The only way up is truth, so don’t avoid an unpleasant answer. Meditate upon it.

If you’ve answered yes to all of these questions, proceed to Step 2. If any of these answers are no, then continue reading the rest of this step. To state it simply, you shouldn’t proceed until you address and make each answer a yes.

For the first, analyze the act. Investigate the Catechism or the Bible or ask a priest or two if what you’re doing is wrong. These guides will tell you the Truth. And they will give you reason. Take for instance the most common habitual sins: masturbation and the viewing of pornography. Not only does the Church condemn such acts, but do you know how dangerous these are for your brain? If not, check out Dr. Trish Leigh’s videos, which are highly informative and helpful on the matter.

“But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” — Matthew 5:28

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For the second, ask yourself if you have done all you can to defeat the sin. It is monumentally important that we have struggled and tried in every way, as per the quote in the beginning of this reflection. If you can’t think of anything to do to proactively stop your sinning, then start. For there are a lot of methods and as you will see in step 5, there is one definitive method. In the instance of lust, have you used blockers on your phone, tried an accountability partner, ran from temptation when you’ve noticed it? If you’ve done all that you conceivably can, then this answer becomes a yes.

“If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into eternal fire.” — Mathew 18:8

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For the third, if you, with your mind and your will, want to stop this sin, then this becomes a yes, too. It has nothing to do with how you feel or how many times you’ve been tempted or how strongly you feel pulled into the grips of sin. As long as you will it, this answer is a yes.

“What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.” — Romans 7:15

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Step 2: Understand the Depth of Your Sin.

Your sin is not just a sin. It goes much deeper than that. You admit you have a problem. You’ve tried all you could. You will against it with your heart. So, why do you keep sinning?

Not to worry, for even Saint Paul struggled with this…

“…Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

Undoubtedly you will fall, for time is necessary. Perseverance is necessary. Even weakness is necessary. For with them, we achieve the power to overcome. God lets us lose so that we can grow in holiness.

“…things that cause sin will inevitably occur…” — Luke 17:1

No matter what, the one thing you can’t avoid in this process is patience. It will take time, perseverance, and moments of weakness, but you can overcome your sin. Be that as it may, this does NOT mean to take your time. Rather, make haste and do not delay!

“I am prompt, I do not hesitate in observing your commandments.” — Psalms 119:60

It is important to note that sometimes, and especially when we start to combat the sin more aggressively, that God will allow us to fall for the purposes of humbling ourselves. In allowing such, we are also tested in perseverance.

“Though the just fall seven times, they rise again…” — Proverbs 24:16

However, this is not to say that our sin will be permanent. While temptation may afflict us until our very last breath, the sin will not, granted that we cooperate with God’s grace.

“No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13

“…My grace is sufficient for you…” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

Christ is our hope, and to suggest to yourself that you will have to wait a lifetime for it to go away is despair and a lack of belief and trust in Christ. Never accept the thought that this problem will stay around your whole life. It is a lie from the evil one – even when uttered with good intention from the mouth of priests. It is your mission to destroy this sin where it stands as soon as is possible.

“Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” — Matthew 25:13

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So, what is the deeper problem of your habitual sin?

Let’s use lust as the example here…

“Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres.” — C.S. Lewis

Lust, masturbation, pornography, as well as every habitual sin mentioned in this reflection and elsewhere, is a form of self-harm. Not only are these things scientifically bad for you, but spiritually, psychologically, and physiologically as well. You must acknowledge and understand this self-evident truth: that you are harming yourself when you sin. Like a blade taken to cut your soul.

Step 3: Kindness.

“…Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me…” — Matthew 25:40

It is true that the above passage can be thought of as a summary of all that Jesus came to teach. So, then… what happens when the least of Christ is you?

Who is the weakest of Christ but those who suffer under the ugly hands of sin? Are you not, then, in many ways and at many times the least of Christ? You are. And any other admission to the contrary is pure pride.

So, treat yourself with kindness. What do you need to feel good about yourself? Rather, what do you need to be the best version of you? Achieving a dream, getting a job, a girlfriend/boyfriend? Whatever it is: Pursue it. For that is an immeasurable kindness to yourself.

We must remember that living up to our moral codes is also a form of kindness to ourselves. So, the mere fact that you are reading this is already achieving this step. Of course, not everything you do will be a kindness to yourself, and it may take some adjusting. There may be disorder in your life that you need to clean up to help you. A messy room, a burdened conscience (go to Confession), a responsibility not yet fulfilled. These matters may take time to accomplish, but it is absolutely necessary to work toward these things.

This next step is one that most people do not see…

Step 4: Forgiveness.

Although it is necessary, it is not enough to forgive your enemies. The next time temptation arises, forgive yourself. Not for the sin you might commit. But forgive yourself instead for whatever it is that is causing you to want to inflict harm upon yourself. That’s right…

Did you fail to talk to a girl/boy? Did you get rejected? Did someone make you feel inadequate? Or make you believe that something is wrong with you?

We do indeed blame ourselves for these things even, and dare I say especially, when they are outside of our control. And so much is outside of our control in this day and age. But it will always be like this. And we will always make mistakes. Thus…

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself! For anything you’ve done in the past. For any way you might be. Any way you might look. Anything you may have done by mistake. It’s okay.

Tell yourself just that: everything is going to be okay. Say the words aloud, “I forgive you, and it’s okay, and it’s okay.” Want the words. Will the words. Forgive yourself and watch your temptation fade into something more manageable.

Remember also not to be too hard on yourself, even when you fail. For you have struggled already against your own abuses. Don’t double down on that scourge unless you are being too easy on yourself and your discipline has disappeared. You can easily tell when that happens: when you stop caring.

Step 5: Trust.

We already know to trust God. But this step goes deeper than saying that you trust Him. For what really is trust in God?

Is it believing that everything will be okay? Sure it is, but in this context it is more than that.

When you trust someone, what do you do? You tell them things. True things. About yourself, about your flaws, hopes, wants, dreams. This, my friends, we all know as prayer. Having an active prayer life is the most imperative step in trusting God.

But what will you pray? Aside from silent meditation, constantly trying to acknowledge God in every moment of our lives, it is God’s will that He make known to us every grace He has in store through the same person by whom salvation came into the world and was incarnated thereof. Mary.

“…And coming to her, he said, ‘Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.…’” – Luke 1:28

Therefore, the Rosary is your sword in defeating this sin. For grace flows through her.

And if you really, really want to stop committing habitual sin, then I ask you to do one extra thing – and you should have no problem doing that, considering how you answered yes to the second question in step one. Fortunately, this one is simple. Watch this video and do what it says.